guilt-free mom
Is a mother's instinct right or what is written in books?
Micah is not the easiest baby and has a deafening cry which makes getting on a schedule very difficult. I am doing exactly what is says in multiple books (BabyWise, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child) and yet, Micah screams and screams at naptime. Just now, after 45 minutes of nothing calming him down, I finally gave in and nursed him. I should probably add that I hardly EVER do that but NOTHING would get him to stop crying.
I need to be a guilt-free mom. Now he is here laying on my chest, incredibly relaxed, drifting off to sleep. I have to tell myself over and over not to offer him the breast because it will create a "bad habit" or "prop". Not only that, but it says not to have your baby sleep on you because then they won't be able to sleep without you. What is a mom to do?! Listen to her baby cry so hard that he is drenched in sweat or offer the only thing that will calm him down?
I never knew being a mom would be so hard because of feeling torn between instinct and what the books say....
Any input from the other moms out there?
2 comments:
I went through some similar things when Josiah was a new baby. I read baby wise, but felt a lot of its contents I disagreed with. Also, I disagreed with what a lot of people in general say about raising babies. I came to the conclusion that I am the mom and ultimately I needed to find what worked for my family. Each baby is different and every mom is different. Also, all the books are different and everyone has an opinion. Do what you feel best, You're the mom and you are doing a good job :)
I feel you so much! I did implement Babywise with Jolie starting at 3 weeks. I needed a LOT of encouragement in the early days...and I think the best advice I got was that scheduling is a GOAL to work towards. Things didn't really click for us until about 6 months and at 8 months, we were home free. She slept through the night at 8 weeks and is a 12 hour sleeper since 3 months.
The beginning was really hard. Like, REEEAAAALLY hard. And even though I'm glad I stuck it out, looking back I might've done things a little differently.
Things are great now with a BW schedule - Jolie is a year and goes to sleep when I put her down. She has self soothed for a long time and we stopped needing a pacifier before she was 4 months old. She goes down for 2 naps daily and goes to sleep within 5 minutes - no fussing, no fighting, just sleeping and happy girl when she wakes up. No lie.
The Chronicles blog is GREAT, though it's a little intimidating! That woman is so freaking' organized and on top of her game! I'm also a part of the Chronicles forum, which has been so great. Check it out: http://groups.google.com/chroniclesofababywisemom
If you ever want to chat on the phone, PLEASE let me know! We need to catch up anyway and I'd love to talk to you more about my experiences!
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