In the life of a new mom

yesterday was glorious...

6:00 am - nurse Micah

6:30 am- back to bed

8:00 am- get ready for 6 week post-pardum appointment

9:00 - wake up Micah to nurse

9:35 - in the car

9:45 - swinging Micah in his car seat at the doctor's office to keep him from crying since the car ride didn't put him to sleep (people looking at me like I am crazy)

10:00 - in the exam room, Micah asleep, I breathe a sigh of relief

10:05 - door slams to another room, wakes up Micah who starts crying...I try to grab the paper covering myself and calm him down

10:08 - Dr. E comes in with the nurse, I am exposed because I can't keep the pacifier in and hold the sheet covering me...i apologize. The nurse takes over pacifier patrol as I try to concentrate on the exam. All goes well and I go back home.

12:00 - nurse Micah

1:00 take a nap :) - somewhere in there Bryan left for work...i was out cold

3:00 - nurse Micah

4:00 - do some laundry and clean the kitchen

5:00 - nurse Micah

*don't remember what I did here

8:00 - watch Glee and nurse

11:00- Bryan came home from work- talked about his night

11:30 - fell asleep on the couch

*obviously my day consists of more than this, like playing with my baby boy and singing to him etc.

And this is where we start today....which is whole different story!

12:00 am - nurse

1:00 - put Micah down and crawl into bed

1:05- Micah starts crying- took him into the nursery, tried to get him to stop crying by rocking him, pacifier, he calmed down, I put him back into the bassinet

1:25- crying - took Micah back into nursery, nursed him to sleep, back into bassinet

1:47- crying - apologize to Bryan who says "it's ok" and my reply was "no it's not, he has been awake for over an hour and a half. I will take him downstairs."

at this point, I was ready to cry...

2:10 - finally crawl into bed with breath held, no crying!

3:00 - I hear Micah grunting that he is ready to eat again...feed him, change him, swaddle him

3:35- back to bed

6:30 am- My day begins! Feed Micah, change him, take him downstairs, tummy time, and get him ready for his nap -

* this is where I captured Micah's smile...FINALLY! he has been smiling since Sunday but I haven't caught it on camera until today. This is when he is coming out of the smile but still...

8:00- put dinner in crockpot, make myself breakfast, brew decaf coffee, sit down to relax

8:30 - Micah crying to eat again

10:30 - nurse, Bryan took Micah and put him to sleep for me

11:30- laundry!

12:30- feed Micah, play with him until he yawns, try to put him to sleep- he is crying and I can't get him to stop, put him into the Moby wrap. I walk laps around the house until he goes to sleep

1:30 -make lunch for Bryan

2:15- realize I have to pee but wouldn't dare take Micah out of the Moby because he is sound asleep...you know what is next :)

2:30 - Bryan leaves for work, I sit on the couch

2:45 - Micah wakes up crying

3:00 - Micah is crying, I do everything possible to get to him to stop...nothing is working

3:15 - take out the stroller, go for a walk. I walk until he is asleep. My legs are tired...

3:45- Micah's asleep in his car seat, I set him on the stoop as I pack up the stroller to put back in the car. I hear a faint baby cry...could that be him? Sure enough! Micah is awake and crying again...we go inside

3:50 get a call from Maleasa asking if I want to go on a walk. I explain that I just came in from one and will go next time...

3:55- Micah is crying, I call back Maleasa and say nevermind, I will go because I need to put Micah to sleep again

5:00- get back from walk, get back inside, Micah starts crying

5:15- put Micah into swing, he stops crying and goes to sleep...I love the swing!

Now it is 5:42, it is quiet, and I am blogging. I absolutely LOVE being a mom, but that doesn't mean that it is easy, especially with a baby who cries for no apparent reason. There are moments throughout the day that make all the hard stuff disappear, like cuddling, and when when my baby smiles at me, but it is still very difficult.

I prayed for so long to be a mom, and yet there are times that I think that I can't do it. But God always gives me the strength and the love that I need for Micah.